Back on track

Okay, one more day on Jonah 1:2-3, and then I promise we’ll move on!  Just in case you forgot the gist of those verses—God told Jonah to get up and go, and Jonah got up and went…in the opposite direction.

So Jonah really blew it by intentionally going the opposite direction God was telling him to go.  He clearly sinned in his disobedience.  He knew exactly what was expected of him but did just the opposite.  That’s usually the focus of the book of Jonah…hearing from God and walking in obedience (or disobedience).  But today I’m going down a little different path.  I’m thinking about those important decisions we need to make that do not have a clear-cut, right-or-wrong answer (morally, ethically, legally).  Perhaps you’ve been presented with an opportunity and you just want to know what God’s will is.  For example, maybe you’re wondering about moving, or taking another job, or saying yes to a volunteer activity, or going on a mission trip.  I don’t know about you, but sometimes I wrestle the most with issues and decisions that are really not so significant in the whole scheme of life.

I was thinking about this the other day as I was vacuuming.  I had to respond either yes or no to a request from someone to do something in church.  I went back and forth about what to do.  And trust me, this was not an earth-shattering decision to make!  But in my mind I knew that a “no” answer meant that this person had to go back to square one and find someone else.  I’ve often been on that side of the equation so I can empathize with that.  But on the other hand, I didn’t really believe that this was something God was asking me to do, and definitely not the best use of my time or talents.  So back and forth I went.  I have a deep desire to honor God in my decision making and to do what He wants me to do, but the answer is seldom written on the wall.

In my stack of index cards at home, I found one with some notes scribbled on it, no doubt from some long-ago sermon, entitled, “Tests or guidelines used to determine God’s will.”  It lists three simple steps: 

1) Examine circumstantial evidence;

2) Examine God’s Word and pray;

3) Consult with others.

Sound, solid biblical advice. 

Yet, I can’t help but wonder if there’s more to the whole decision-making thing.  I wonder if perhaps it’s in the everyday choices and decisions of life that God is drawing us to a deeper level of trust.  If I make the wrong choice do I really trust Him to get me back on the right track?  Do I really believe He can and will make all things work out for good, as Romans 8:28 promises?  If I hear Him wrong will He look down on me with disdain and say, “You made your bed.  Now lie in it” or can I trust Him to lead me (sometimes firmly, but always lovingly) back to the right path?

When we look at the story of Jonah, we see a God who cares deeply about His children making the right choices.  And when they choose the wrong path, even deliberately as Jonah did, we see a loving God who brings them back on track. 

God is teaching me that if I mess up and go the wrong direction, He still loves me.  In fact, nothing I do could make Him love me less…and nothing I do could make Him love me more!  When I go astray, He can and will lead me back in the right direction, showing me the path I should choose.

Psalm 25 speaks so beautifully to this truth. 

“O Lord, I give my life to you.  I trust in you, my God!

Show me the right path, O Lord; and point out the road for me to follow.

The Lord is good and does what is right; He shows the proper path to those who go astray.

He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them His way.

The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness…

He will show them the path they should choose.”  (Ps. 25:1,2a,4,8,9,10a,12b)

running...

...back to Jonah...

I still can’t get away from the beginning of verse 3, chapter 1.  The NLT reads, “But Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction to get away from the Lord.”  The NIV bluntly states, “But Jonah ran away from the Lord.”

Jonah was running from a direct command of the Lord.  God very clearly told him to go to Ninevah and warn them of God’s coming judgment.  Jonah knew, without a doubt, what he was to do—what was expected of him.

I wish I could say I just can’t relate to that.  I wish I could just take this very literally and say that since God isn’t calling me to go to a foreign nation to warn them of His impending judgment, there’s no message here for me.  But, I’m not off the hook.  God has been calling me to look closely at a specific sin in my life—ugh, a place I really do not want to go.  So mostly I’ve been ignoring Him about it.  Mostly I just think it’s not really that big of a deal.  I mean, come on, there’s a whole lot worse things happening out there.  What I did isn't really so bad, as far as sins go.  Excuses and running.  Not so very different from Jonah. 

As the hand of God rests heavy on me revealing my sin, do I go to sleep in the bottom of the boat and allow a storm to rage within me?  Or do I run to His arms and confess?  I know I can’t do this on my own.  I so badly want to hold onto the frustration, the anger, the angst (I can so easily justify it).  But I see Jesus holding out his arms to me asking me if I could just release this to him.  I know in my heart that it’s only in His arms will I find relief from the raging storm in me.  So, it’s time to turn back to Him.  He’s inviting me to come in confession and repentance.   Confession is agreeing with the Lord about a matter (yes, Lord, I see this as sin in my life), and repentance is turning back to Him (change). 

And just like Jonah, I know I will be given another opportunity to go in the right direction when a similar situation comes up.  God does that, doesn’t He?  As Beth Moore likes to say, “God takes us on field trips until we get it right.”  Sometimes those field trips are not so fun…but they’re always informative!

“My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline,

And don’t be upset when He corrects you.

For the Lord corrects those He loves,

Just as a father corrects a child in whom He delights.”  Prov. 3:11,12

Back to blogging!

So today I returned to the world of blogging! If you pay attention to dates, you'll notice it's been eight months since I last blogged.  It’s not that I haven’t been writing and journaling, but I just didn't feel the Holy Spirit prompting me to blog.  In a way, I approach writing as Moses approached heading out for the Promised Land. "If your Presence does not go with (me), do not send (me) up from here." (Ex. 33:15).  But lately I’ve been sensing the Spirit urging me to blog again.  So here I am...use me Lord!

In my personal study, I’m reading through the book of Jonah.  I love to do Bible studies with other women, and I just finished an excellent one by Kelly Minter called, Nehemiah, A Heart That Can Break.  (I highly recommend it!).  But between sessions, I ask God what He wants me to read and He always brings me to a portion of His Word where He desires me to be.  I love to read and meditate and pray—just me and the Holy Spirit soaking in God’s Word!  Now He’s taken me to Jonah.  And this time I’m going to blog my way through and share what the Holy Spirit reveals.  Please know that this will not be a deeply comprehensive look at the book of Jonah!  I am simply going to write about where I sense the Spirit leading me and what He allows me to share with others. 

God told Jonah: “Get up and go…”

Jonah’s response?  “But Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction to get away from the Lord…hoping to escape from the Lord.”  Jonah  1:2,3 (paraphrased)

For several weeks I sensed God asking me to blog again.  I struggle against this because it’s so public.  I prefer to stay hidden away.  So I run away into my world of excuses.  I don’t have any training in writing.  Who will read it?  Who even cares what I write?  I can’t splash our lives onto public pages for all to read—that’s not fair to my family.  And besides, am I even hearing God correctly?

Then I heard a reference to the story of Jonah—about being obedient to where God wants us to go— and I heard the Spirit’s quiet voice telling me to pay attention.  I sensed God was using that story to call me back to the computer.  But, instead of just accepting that this was a word from God, I asked Him to bring the story of Jonah to me again…as confirmation that this really was from Him.  I don’t typically throw a fleece before the Lord like this, but this time I did.  I didn’t hear anything for a week or two, then suddenly within two days the story of Jonah was mentioned to me twice.  When I heard the first reference, I thought to myself, “Well, this doesn’t really count since it’s been more than a week since I asked God for that sign.”  (I’m shameless in my excuse-making).  But when He brought another Jonah story to me just two days later (from my cousin in the grocery store, no less), I knew I had my confirmation!  I almost saw God grinning at me right there in Hy-Vee…

So back to blogging.  We’ll see where this ship takes us!

Homesick for Heaven

Yesterday I woke up homesick for heaven.  Do you ever have days like that?  In the dark quietness of my room, I read these words from I Peter 4:7,8 and they stirred something in me.  "The end of the world is coming soon.  Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers.  Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins." (NLT)

As I read these ancient words (The end of the world is coming soon...), I felt such a deep longing for heaven.  Perhaps this longing was made more intense because yesterday was my sister Laura's birthday.  She would have turned 56.  I can only imagine the celebration she was treated to in heaven! 

As I prayed over these words, I found myself asking Jesus to return soon.  But in the quiet of my heart God reminded me of the many people I love who are struggling so fiercely...and are not yet ready for His return.  He showed me that now is the time to pray earnestly. 

Each day I pray for my husband, children, grandchildren, and many others.  But a few years ago, God led me to also start praying deeply and intentionally for our nieces and nephews, their spouses and kids.  I have pictures of all of them on my computer (say what you may, but facebook is a great tool to find pictures - and prayer needs!).  In addition to praying over their struggles, challenges, and joys, I also boldly pray that each and every one of them will surrender their lives to the Lord.  I wholeheartedly take as truth the words of James 5:16b..."The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

Anyway, looking back on it, the day did have a sort of "heavenly" feel to it!  It was an absolutely gorgeous day -- especially for March in Iowa -- mid-to upper 70's, warm breeze, wonderfully sunny.  I had the day off, so I spent much of the afternoon walking the bike trails out by the dam.  I loved it!  All around, I caught glimpses of heaven -- even in the brokenness of the beauty -- and I found myself desiring more.  I am homesick for heaven and anticipate the beauty and perfection of the new heaven and new earth, a world filled with the essence of God.   But in the meantime, I pray.  I remember that "The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise (to return), as some people think.  No, he is being patient for your sake.  He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent." (2 Peter 3:9).

Evangelism 101

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a missionary (or better yet, a missionary teacher).  I loved reading books about young women who went to foreign countries or to poor mountain communities to share the love of Jesus.  I would dream about what it would be like to live so far from home; so far from everything familiar.  But, alas...reality was that I would get homesick staying overnight at a friend's house!  And somewhere along the line, that dream faded into the background.

But it never really went away.  A couple of weeks ago, a friend asked me what I desire...what my dreams are.  At the time, I wasn't sure what to say.  I have a very hard time seeing beyond today.  I struggle with dreaming big.  I'm sure there's a lot wrapped into that; especially the fact that I am still actively parenting a child with huge challenges.  But regardless, she wouldn't let me explain it away.  Instead, she suggested I pray about it and ask God to reveal what my dreams and desires are...what is hidden deep in my heart. 

As I spent time praying, God showed me this desire to be a missionary has never gone away.  And really, that's not such a surprise. I knew that dream was there all along.  But sadly, even after being a Christ-follower for so many years, I still struggle with thinking that "evangelism" is a program, or that "missionary" is a vocation.  I know better than that.

Last night Steve and I went to a Bible teaching.  The passage we read was Exodus 18.  In this passage we see Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, come visit him.  Jethro saw how busy Moses was settling disputes among the people, and he introduced the concept of "judge" to Moses.  Our teacher talked about how Moses, in his position as judge, was a "type" of Christ.

After reading the first part of the passage, however, our teacher stated, "That's evangelism 101."  You see, Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, was the priest of Midian, a pagan nation.  Moses could easily have condemned Jethro, pointing out to him how wicked he was to serve a pagan god.  He could have called attention to all the evil practices of the Midianite nation.  He could have refused to let him see his daughter (Moses' wife) and grandsons.  Instead, when Jethro asked Moses about his welfare, "Moses told his father-in-law about all the hardships they had experienced along the way (out of Egypt) and how the Lord had rescued his people from all their troubles." (Ex. 18:8).  What was Jethro's response?  "Praise the Lord, for he has rescued you from the Egyptians and from Pharaoh.  Yes, he has rescued Israel from the powerful hand of Egypt!  I know now that the Lord is greater than all other gods, because he rescued his people from the oppression of the proud Egyptians." (Ex. 18:10,11). (italics added)

Evangelism 101...sharing with others how faithful and good God is, not how evil and wicked they are. 

So I'm still praying about my desire to be a missionary in another locale.  (Watch out Steve!  Who knows where God might ask us to go!)  But in reality, I am a missionary.  Because His heart is beating in me and His Spirit is giving me life, I can share His love and faithfulness with others no matter where I live.  No fancy words needed.  No master's degree in evangelism.  Just an obedient heart, willing to share how God is working in my life. Not pointing out the faults in others, but pointing up at the One who alone can give Life.

"Greetings, you who are highly favored!" 

I considered starting my Christmas letter with that cheerful approach, but feared the receivers of my letter would get the wrong idea.  I wouldn't want them to assume I considered them highly favored since they were so fortunate to receive a Christmas letter from me.  Trust me, my Christmas letters are nothing special, and I sincerely doubt the recipients consider them a great joy!

Actually, I have a really hard time knowing what to write each year.  How do you begin to honestly capture what the past year has brought?  Frankly, it gets a little boring to discuss my part-time job as a bookkeeper and Steve's job as an accountant (jobs we've had for 20+ years...and honestly, how does one make accounting sound exciting?).  I could write about our "vacations," but I fear our friends would find it quite ho-hum to read about our weekend jaunts to NW Iowa to visit the kids and grandkids (a desirable destination for us because our precious ones are there; but let's face it, Northwest Iowa is not the most sought-after vacation spot in the world!).  I'm afraid it would be a bit of a downer to write of depression and bipolar disorder (both of which were a reality in our home this year); and I would find it impossible to capture the emotions I experienced as the Bible study I wrote was finally published and printed.  But those are all honest snapshots of our year.   Hmmm, maybe I do have an idea of what to write!  If you get my letter, these words might sound familiar :).

Anyway, back to the greeting at the top of the page.  "Greetings, you who are highly favored!  The Lord is with you."  This was the angel Gabriel's greeting to Mary when he shared with her his amazing news from heaven.  (If you are unfamiliar with this beautiful story, you can read it in Luke 1:26-38).

But, let's not leave this spirited greeting on the pages of Luke, dusting them off once a year at Advent.  These are God's words to us, too!  Words He speaks over us every minute of the day.  If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, you, too, are highly favored!  Can you say this is your identity in Christ?  Or do you tend to believe that when God looks at you, He sees only your faults, your blunders, your sin.  Is it your belief that God will never call you "highly favored" until you get your act together?  Perhaps the sin we're most guilty of is neglecting God's grace...of turning our face away in disbelief and doubt when God shines His eyes on us and claims us as His highly favored.

I wonder if so much has been made of Mary's favorable attributes -- her virtue, her obedience, her unquestioning faith -- that we lose sight of the fact that God chose Mary because of His grace.  Yes, she was a loyal follower of Yahweh, but Mary was chosen to bear the Son of God because she was "the object of God's unmerited, graciously provided goodness."  "[Mary] did not ask for or seek this role in God's plans; God...simply stepped into her life and brought her into his service."  (Quotes taken from the IVP New Testament Commentary on Luke...see BibleGateway.com-commentaries).

God simply stepped into her life and brought her into his service.  And miracle of miracles -- He does the same with you and me.  I recently read this beautiful quote in the devotional, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young (p. 331).  "The kingdom of God is not about earning and deserving, it's about believing and receiving."  This advent season, let's open our hearts and our hands and receive God's gift of grace, love, and favor.

So this afternoon I ran away.  I need to do that from time to time.  When the frustrations mount I find it healthier to disengage—to go to a quiet place.  Today’s destination was Fifield Park, on Lake Red Rock.  I packed fairly light…my laptop, my tote bag with books, Bible, and journal, and a bottle of water.  (I debated stopping by the bakery for a cream-filled bismark, but wisely decided against that one!)

What a peaceful oasis awaited me.   All around I saw evidence of Elohim—Creator God.  He spoke through the tender breeze and the dancing, falling leaves.  He sparkled in the diamonds of light exploding on the lake.  I smelled His fragrance in the dry, dusty scent of autumn.  He spoke calm to my soul.  He listened so patiently as I poured out my heart.

God invited me to give voice to what’s weighing me down.   Time and again I find that it’s in the telling that I come to a place of deeper understanding and peace.

So today I tell God there seems to be no end in sight to this struggle.  Oftentimes we know a current affliction is only for a season.   We yearningly remember the “before,” we doggedly press on through the “during,” and we eagerly anticipate the promise of the “after.”   But what about when there is no assurance of an “after”—when we live day after day in the “during” and there is no end in sight?  When the realization hits that this struggle is not just for a season.

I sensed God nodding in understanding.  Then He quietly reminded me that He only ever asks me to live in the present.  To live in His Presence.  His Presence today—this very moment—is what will carry me through the “during.”  His Presence will help me live in the fullness of abundant life today.  He doesn’t want me to look far ahead.  He promises light for the step I’m on.

In the stillness of nature I read aloud God’s Words to Him...Psalms of encouragement, promise, and praise.  As I read to Him, He spoke to me.  Mutual joy and love flowed from each other and to each other.  How true His words, “He inhabits the praise of His people.” (Ps. 22:3)

It was time to go home.